Monday, July 23, 2012

Day Seventeen - Someone from your childhood

You spin me right round baby right round~

A second letter for you. We sort of saw each other grew in a way and how much we both have changed to someone so different; unrecognizable.

Jie jie (speaking in mandarin): Take one.
Me not understanding mandarin, smiled and took all of it. 
The bus driver told me what that jie jie was saying so I offered to give everything back. 
She laughed and said I could keep it. So I did, in my pocket.

To me, you are always the better one of us both. Smart in studies, more fluent in English, even got first in class, way more polite and feminine than I am, the person who will wait for the grovelling crowd to get their share before coming in for the leftovers. I know it was wrong to compare, but I could not stop admiring your poised personality even at a very young age.

I just did not understand what went wrong halfway. If you think there is nothing wrong with your life right now, I can only assume that either my family and I are overly concerned for you and your well being or the things we hear may be exaggerated. To me, it is wrong. Living this way is not healthy for you yet you tell me that you are content with how things are now. Was deeply hurt when you said you just wished that God will not let you wake up from your sleep. You are born for a reason, you are worth so much more than this. Depression is not good for you, so are those thoughts. You are an intelligent being and you know it.

I received countless signs not to give up hope on you, to keep trying to encourage you whenever possible. There was my aunt, the sermon on Sunday which I believe was meant for you, this morning's drive to work on the radio. I never stopped believing in you, so don't ever stop believing in yourself no matter what you go through.

Christ alone, Cornerstone
Weak made strong
In the Saviour's love
Through the storms
He is Lord, Lord of All

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