I've always felt like the black sheep of the family. I did not inherit any brains from any of you, did not excel as well as my sister, yet felt a little better when I saw so much of myself in my brother. In a way, I felt upset that each of you had a favourite and it wasn't me. Although you deny it, actions speak louder than words, I did not become a bad liar by practicing. As a consolation (or maybe better?), I am loved by both yeh yeh and ma ma. I know that one day, my sister will be the leader and rice bowl of the family and you both have placed all hope on her. Nevertheless, I will never be like her and will not walk in her shadows. I'm am sick of the constant comparison between my sister and I. We each have our own strengths and weaknesses. All these words feel like venom, but beneath all this poison is just hurt. I still love my family dearly and can only feel united when every member of the family is together. I feel a lot better about my self esteem since accepting Christ, meeting my boyfriend and having a pet. It finally feels like a family again.